Archive for July, 2008

Life Is a Highway

July 27, 2008

How did I get back to being such a bad blogger that you have been greeted by a blank page? Ack!

Here is a list of things I have been thinking about until I think of something better to post and sorry if lately my posts have been a little dating-centric but I think you’ll agree you’d rather hear about that than work, no?

1. How do you care for basil? I bought a basil plant from Trader Joe’s, and, small miracle, I have managed to keep it alive, but it looks, like, well, gimp basil with a bad toupee. There are weird flowery bits growing out HERE, and parts of it are deep green THERE, and part of it are celery green and limp here AND there, and really, what should I do?

2. I was driving back tonight from meeting awesome Gwen, in town for a wedding, at Little Next Door for some moules frittes and lovely girl talk, and I was heading East on one of those rare streets in L.A. where the lights are timed and you almost feel like you are on the highway.

And I think I’ve mentioned before my love for highway driving, my #1 alone activity, topping even a) watching “Persuasion” and crying my eyes out and b) rearranging my sock and underwear baskets by color and/or appropriateness for wear outside the confines of my apartment.

My favorite thing about highway driving is that once you’ve been going for about four hours, you lose complete connection with reality. Or at least I do. This is when my mind feels really free to imagine the possibilities in life. It’s the only time I imagine the passionate affair I’ll soon be having with Josh Radnor, or how I’ll suddenly master the space-time continuum and be able to work 60 hours a week, go to pilates in the morning, run when I get home, and make beautiful, healthy meals in my immaculate home 7 nights a week. And usually, when I arrive at my destination, I half don’t want to, because how is it going to compare with the glorious existence I’ve conjured up on the ride there?

Anyway, I was driving along this pseudo highway, thinking about the pseudo breakup I endured on Saturday, realizing how totally NOT devastated I was, AND, more importantly, realizing that despite all the driving I’ve been doing recently, how I have totally NOT fantasized about this broken-up-with person at all on these trips. That is WRONG.

I’ve had some ridiculous qualifications for a boyfriend during my lifetime, some of which include (albeit unintentionally): a) being an A-HOLE (years 14-18); b) and not wearing deodorant (years 19-24). But I’ve never NOT been able to conjure up a decent picture of our smelly, tension-filled future together on a four-hour road trip.

New requirement for future relationships: ability to conjure up some sort of fantastical daydream about the person by the time I hit Vacaville.

3. Even more embarrassing than the fact that this title references a Tom Cochrane song from 1990-something, is the fact that every time I hear this song I also remember my deep and abiding love for the Bryan Adams ballad from the same timeframe, “Everything I Do (I Do It for You)” and also, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, in which Kevin Costner gave up on his accent 12 minutes into the picture but I didn’t give up on him EVER.

If I had driven back then, I’m sure I would have had no problems developing a very detailed Kevin Costner highway fantasy. I know, ew.

Then We’ll All Sing Cumbaya and Drive Off in Our Priuses

July 9, 2008

I love my Pilates Plus class. It is my new favorite thing, even though it requires me getting up, oh, 5 and a half hours from now.

I’ve been taking it for over a month now, several times a week, with the same ladies for the most part, and recently, Something Has Happened.

I’m not sure what switch went off, where suddenly people are no longer silent, where suddenly people feel comfortable grunting and groaning, expressing their body’s displeasure at using dormant muscles forced to come to life — obliques, the appendixes of our musculature.

But It Has Happened.

At first I felt a little weird, like, LADY, I CAN HEAR THAT?!? But then I realized that she KNOWS I can hear that and just doesn’t give a hooey. And then her neighbor joined in and suddenly there was this chorus of ughs and enghs and whooshs.

I haven’t quite yet joined the band, don’t feel quite earth-mother enough yet – mainly I utter curse words, well, one particular curse word, my personal f-f-f-favorite, under my breath after particularly masochistic exercises.

But maybe one day.

Maybe one day I just won’t be able to help myself and I’ll release my barbaric yawp on the unsuspecting denizens of Silver Lake.

Doesn’t seem like they’ll mind.

Head Out of the Sand for a Moment

July 7, 2008


groundhog day, originally uploaded by j:sto.

Suddenly work isn’t so bad, HOLY CRAP, I had Friday off!, and it gives me time to think.

I spent Independence Day, well, independently, watching from my balcony about 5 different displays of fireworks from afar, none of which I managed to capture as more than a blur, before I returned to the task at hand, moving everything out of one of my bedrooms to accommodate incoming Neeta (she’s like a missile, yo!).



fireworks, originally uploaded by j:sto.

Then I hung out with Penny, Jeff, Jeff’s wife Jen, Mom and Dad in SF for a day, site of the groundhog? above, before driving back down to LA.

And having this whole weekend to myself, it gave me a lot to chew on, aside from the beef jerky, my ABFAV and ABNEC road trip treat, that I gnawed on as I headed there and back across the Grapevine with my windows down and HEAT ON to protect my 111,789-mile Subaru.

Soooo.

Questions for you:

1. [Question removed because I’ve already made up my mind and if you disagree with my choice, what is the point in knowing that? Instead, I will tell you that I could really go for some ice cream right now! And it’s 8:30 a.m.!]

2. Signs that I am grown up: (a) I have kept a basil plant alive for a couple months now; (b) I eat fruit on a daily basis; (c) I make my bed; (d) I stopped finding two-buck Chuck tolerable about 2 years ago; and (e) I take 6:00 a.m. Pilates Plus, with all the moms. The hotties take the 7:00, so they stroll in and watch me and the moms grunt through the oblique teasers in our (ok, MY, the moms in my neighborhood are quite fashionable) 1992 (really!) holey Champion tees and Target sweatpants, while they’re in their tank tops and Lululemon pants (OK, I am totally getting a pair). What are the tell-tale signs of adulthood for you?

3. Do you think there is an innate level of Cheese that you just can never get accustomed to? Like, for instance, I have never begun an email, “Hey, handsome.” I have, however, begun and concluded an email with, “DUDE! I think I may have a hernia. You are the funniest person I know. xoxo, Gossip Girl,” or started off with, “Dear Crazy Person.” You know what I mean? I am not just talking about emails to dudes, here, although for some reason (maybe because I watched it with Penny this weekend), that episode of SATC is coming to mind where Carrie freaks out because she just can’t handle The Russian’s largesse of romantic gestures and has to go to Mickey Ds for a sodium-laden reprieve. Anyway, maybe that is the wrong term, Cheese, maybe I just mean, you know, earnestness when it comes to being affectionate. Can you get used to someone who’s more earnest than you?

Also, do you want fries with that?

Inquiring minds want to know.

xoxo,
Gossip Girl