A Picture Is Worth Four Letters

pre-p.s. Thanks for the book recs! I will definitely check them out!

Once it hits your lips, it’s so good! Oh, YES, I AM quoting Will Ferrell on this here blog.

I have five stacks of my “public” DVDs on the top shelf of my TV armoire, the TV-on-DVD sets too large to fit and the movies I’m a little embarrassed of (e.g., Wimbledon and The Corruptor (sometimes those $5 Target specials inspire irrational purchases, yo)) down in the drawers below. My five piles consist of:

1. Classics — The Apartment, Rear Window, 12 Angry Men, etc.

2. All Woody Allen.

3. 1980s and 1990s feel-goods — When Harry Met Sally (of course!), Tootsie, The Big Chill, etc.

4. The Modern (at least recently made) Romantics — Persuasion, Before Sunset, Lost in Translation, etc.

5. All Will Ferrell.

Am I ashamed? No (although I will admit to placing Stranger than Fiction at the top of the pile in the hopes of giving #5 some bougy cred, like, dude, he is more than Just A Comedian, TEARS OF A CLOWN MY FRIEND). 

Anyhoo, this weekend was Sunset Junction, and I had a wonderful time Saturday, seeing my law school friends in Radars to the Sky play in the early part of the day, taking a break from the sun and then returning for a $3 Tecate and Oaxacan shrimp at Malo (really cannot tell you why I continue to frequent that establishment when the hostesses ARE SO MEAN) and Anitbalas and Cold War Kids and ending at a neighborhood party complete with ice luge, jeebus. I can’t wait ’til my friend S. sends me the photos so I can share some more of the fun and overwhelming hipness.

p.p.s. My first mud run training went OK. While I was certainly not fast, I was able to haul myself up to the Griffith Park Observatory NOT LAST, which is awesome.

p.p.p.s. Thanks, Bruce, for your tip about installing WordPress. I was afraid to do it myself because I installed Moveable Type for the first non-homemade incarnation of this blog and it took DAYS, literally. WordPress took hours! Boo-yah!

“It Looks Like a Pterodactyl out of a Gay Jurassic Park”

And that, my friends, is why I love Tim Gunn. Even though I’m still not totally sold on his show (although I will watch it again once it starts).

Also, speaking of girl-friendly media, this weekend I read, in literally 2 hours, Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella (I had wanted some good girly stuff, something to quickly escape to, to ease my transition into real literature again after spending the last month or so reading Harry Potter (finally finished the last one, sobbed a bit, awesome) and Stephanie Meyer).

Ugh. Another brutal reminder of why I (generally) don’t read chick lit.

Who is this horrible, cheap-knockoff-of-Bridget Jones heroine who LIES to her creditors, LIES to everyone, including the man she ends up seeing? I’m supposed to think (and believe he thinks) she’s charmingly quirky? I’m sorry, but I know lots of charming, quirky women who don’t try to defraud their bankers that I would much rather read about! I’m sorry if you liked it, don’t mean to offend, but I really couldn’t believe this was who I was supposed to identify with as a woman.

So I promptly began The Power and The Glory by Graham Greene, and was much, much happier.

But I know that there has to be SOME good books with female heroines (aside from the classics) that YOU can recommend to me. I loved Bridget Jones. I loved Dana Spiotta’s Lightning Field, Alice Kaplan’s French Lessons (thanks, Urs!), Marisha Pessl’s Special Topics in Calamity Physics.

Any suggestions? I don’t need it too brainy, it’s still summer, just something where I’ll engage with the heroine and not spend the entire book appalled by her as a person, something where the heroine isn’t another kind of pterodactyl, a prehistoric vision of women as un-nuanced, incapable of handling fiscal or moral responsibility, and, BONUS (books are expensive), something that takes me more than 2 hours to finish.

Ideas?

Shake a Leg, G.I. Jen

I have acquiesced to many, many stupid requests under the influence of alcohol, including requests to:

1. Make out with a boy I didn’t particularly like.
2. Give my 200-lb friend a piggyback (his loss, really; my knees were skinned, his ankle was sprained for 3 weeks).
3. “Pull my finger.”

I believe I have now topped them all, however. At my work retreat, slightly tipsy, maybe caught up in the high of having designed and orchestrated a meal for 25 people, my largest seating yet (they work the first year associates hard, yo), I agreed to participate in this thing called a “mud run.”

I had never heard of one before, but it sounded like you might “run” and you might get “muddy,” neither of which I am averse to unless I am wearing heels in the case of the former or white in the case of the latter.

Oh. No.

This is a REAL LIFE obstacle course at a nearby army base. With like, tires to run through, and scarier, WALLS TO CLIMB.

I am a just a little (aaaaagh!) nervous.

I’ve never been muscly.

Frequently in pilates my legs will be so tired they’ll shake. A LOT.

And every time they do, it takes me back to ninth grade P.E., when I had to do a (&$%*@) pull-up. Just one! Just one! That’s all I had to do to pass.

So I did one. ONE.

Only! My heinous P.E. teacher with a severe spittle problem WASN’T WATCHING. And wouldn’t believe me that I had done one, even with my BFF Melissa testifying in my defense.

So my little 30% body fat arms had to try again.

And try I did, my friends. I was only taking the darn class P/F but, dude, I still had to pass.

Near tears, I hoisted myself up, every ounce of me struggling to reach my chin to the bar, some ounces of me struggling more than others — my right leg. It was shaking SO HARD, and this wasn’t like some freestanding pull-up bar either. It was attached to a wall. So as my leg shook, it knocked into the wall, and EVERYONE, especially Craig Adams, my crush in that class, and a girl whose name I will not mention because it’s less common and also still know her and we get along, my arch nemesis in that class, could see — and hear (thumpity thump thump) — my flailing, epileptic leg as I tried to make it up there.

And if you think I didn’t hear my leg-shaking retold to me in bio the next morning? You have sorely overestimated the generosity of spirit of 14-year-olds, my friends.

And now I may relive it all.

Nonetheless, instead of freaking out, I am just going to comfort myself with a picture of Viggo Mortensen (VM himself, NOT VM as Master Chief, obviously, NOOO) reciting D.H. Lawrence to me, and leaving me notes in my locker.

Hoo-yah.

Going to Bed at 10:30 on a Saturday Night? Caliente.

So Tired, Yet I Continue

Originally uploaded by j:sto

Variety? The spice of life, right?

So I decided to try to try something unprecedented for this Summer of 2008 and STAY IN. All weekend long. I do not want this summer to become known to me as the one where a wine glass was permanently glued to my hand (see above).

I know summer is nuts for everyone, but this one has been, well, insane. Not since I was 22 have I found myself out until 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night, jazz at the Green Door. Truly, lost amid a sea of perky T&A and kitson purchases (I love LA! really!), part of me was busy eating four desserts among three girls in defiance of the apparent unspoken weight limit of the crowd (also to meet the ridonk, unadvertised table minimum) and part of me was gawking openly, thinking, “WHAT THE HECK DO THESE PEOPLE DO? WHERE ARE THEIR MOTHERS?” Because my mother would sure as hell not let me out of the house with my gazongas on display like that, and also, WHY ARE THEIR FACES NOT ETCHED IN PAIN THINKING OF HOW HARD TOMORROW WILL BE? Don’t they really want to go to bed, too? Whimper, whimper. I am old.

So.

This weekend I stayed in. I embroidered, read Breaking Dawn (oh yes, Penny, I did, but only because the seventh Harry Potter was out at my local B&N, keep reading), read the first 300 pages of the last Harry Potter kindly loaned to me by a coworker (see, Penny), and went to the Pasadena Rose Bowl Flea Market at 8:00 a.m. this morning, where I bought these gorgeous glass earring for 5 clams.

Earrings from Rose Bowl

Originally uploaded by j:sto

Also went to work for a few hours today (blech), and generally just cleaned the crap out of my apartment so that finally I feel like a real, human adult again.

I am so happy!!!

I am such a nerd.

So much a nerd in fact, that Neeta was briefly scared of me Friday night when she tried to ask me a question when I was 18 pages away from the end of Breaking Dawn and I was like, “I CANNOT ANSWER YOU NOW! VAMPIRES’ FUTURES HANG IN THE BALANCE! THE MEASURING CUPS ARE IN THE THIRD DRAWER!”

Still, so happy. I forget how much pleasure I have on my own, amusing myself with whatnot and thingamajigs and eviscerating any trace that cats any humans live in my apartment.

I’m not done going out. A) It is still summer, and B) I am still single.

But I’m ready to transition myself into fall. A little cooler, temperature wise, but for me? Mas caliente.

**************

p.s. In an attempt to save money, I’ve tried to make me and my veggie girlfriends some cheap meals before going out, one of which is spiced carrot and goat cheese sandwiches, recipes and pictures of which can be found here, AND I wanted to recommend the awesomest red pepper and almond dip ever, to go with salt and pepper Kettle Chips/the Trader Joe’s equivalent. THE BEST:

Both the sandwiches and the dip recipe are adapted from a Hip Cooks East class, which called for salt to taste, but I really think it doesn’t need any if you’re dipping salt and pepper chips, and also, I like it a little more almondy; don’t pour in the whole olive oil amount all at once because I thought it got too runny when I put in the full amount and had to put in more almonds — see what you like):

3 oz whole almonds, toasted
1 jar roasted red peppers (have ’em at Trader Joe’s)
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
1 large clove garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil

Very finely chop toasted almonds in a food processor. Add garlic and pulse a few times. Add roasted red peppers and pulse to a coarse puree. With machine running, drizzle in olive oil and process until thickened slightly.

Going to Bed at 10:30 on a Saturday Night? Caliente.

So Tired, Yet I Continue

Originally uploaded by j:sto

Variety? The spice of life, right?

So I decided to try to try something unprecedented for this Summer of 2008 and STAY IN. All weekend long. I do not want this summer to become known to me as the one where a wine glass was permanently glued to my hand (see above).

I know summer is nuts for everyone, but this one has been, well, insane. Not since I was 22 have I found myself out until 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night, jazz at the Green Door. Truly, lost amid a sea of perky T&A and kitson purchases (I love LA! really!), part of me was busy eating four desserts among three girls in defiance of the apparent unspoken weight limit of the crowd (also to meet the ridonk, unadvertised table minimum) and part of me was gawking openly, thinking, “WHAT THE HECK DO THESE PEOPLE DO? WHERE ARE THEIR MOTHERS?” Because my mother would sure as hell not let me out of the house with my gazongas on display like that, and also, WHY ARE THEIR FACES NOT ETCHED IN PAIN THINKING OF HOW HARD TOMORROW WILL BE? Don’t they really want to go to bed, too? Whimper, whimper. I am old.

So.

This weekend I stayed in. I embroidered, read Breaking Dawn (oh yes, Penny, I did, but only because the seventh Harry Potter was out at my local B&N, keep reading), read the first 300 pages of the last Harry Potter kindly loaned to me by a coworker (see, Penny), and went to the Pasadena Rose Bowl Flea Market at 8:00 a.m. this morning, where I bought these gorgeous glass earring for 5 clams.

Earrings from Rose Bowl

Originally uploaded by j:sto

Also went to work for a few hours today (blech), and generally just cleaned the crap out of my apartment so that finally I feel like a real, human adult again.

I am so happy!!!

I am such a nerd.

So much a nerd in fact, that Neeta was briefly scared of me Friday night when she tried to ask me a question when I was 18 pages away from the end of Breaking Dawn and I was like, “I CANNOT ANSWER YOU NOW! VAMPIRES’ FUTURES HANG IN THE BALANCE! THE MEASURING CUPS ARE IN THE THIRD DRAWER!”

Still, so happy. I forget how much pleasure I have on my own, amusing myself with whatnot and thingamajigs and eviscerating any trace that cats any humans live in my apartment.

I’m not done going out. A) It is still summer, and B) I am still single.

But I’m ready to transition myself into fall. A little cooler, temperature wise, but for me? Mas caliente.

**************

p.s. In an attempt to save money, I’ve tried to make me and my veggie girlfriends some cheap meals before going out, one of which is spiced carrot and goat cheese sandwiches, recipes and pictures of which can be found here, AND I wanted to recommend the awesomest red pepper and almond dip ever, to go with salt and pepper Kettle Chips/the Trader Joe’s equivalent. THE BEST:

Both the sandwiches and the dip recipe are adapted from a Hip Cooks East class, which called for salt to taste, but I really think it doesn’t need any if you’re dipping salt and pepper chips, and also, I like it a little more almondy; don’t pour in the whole olive oil amount all at once because I thought it got too runny when I put in the full amount and had to put in more almonds — see what you like):

3 oz whole almonds, toasted
1 jar roasted red peppers (have ’em at Trader Joe’s)
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
1 large clove garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil

Very finely chop toasted almonds in a food processor. Add garlic and pulse a few times. Add roasted red peppers and pulse to a coarse puree. With machine running, drizzle in olive oil and process until thickened slightly.