Apparently, I am a “Runner” Now.

Camp Pendelton 2008 10K Mud Run, me (in blue) after the last mud pit. THAT I HAD TO CRAWL THROUGH UNDERNEATH LOW-HANGING FLAGS. (p.s. Marines, I saw you slapping many a lady’s heinie as we hauled ourselves out of the trenches, why not mine? I would have feigned offense but now I am actually offended. Is my bottom so unslappable?).

Me, crossing the finish line with my coworkers (why does it look like I am 3 mos. preggers?)!

I think until I did this run (I know, not that long, only 6.2 miles), I had never thought of myself as a runner. I mean, I JOG, a lot, usually three times a week or so, but mainly as a booty-size control mechanism and I (thought) I was never any good at it. I figured I was the same as in high school track, where I was usually just grateful not to be last.

Which is why, 30 minutes before the Mud Run started, I was seriously considering faking food poisoning.

But I did it! I ran up 2 miles of hill, I slogged through INCREDIBLY STINKY mud pits, I scaled a 5′ wall (at only 5’2″ myself), and our team hit 9th in our division. We weren’t last, not even close.

I AM SO HAPPY!

My biggest fear in this all was letting my teammates down, being the one who held them up at the finish line, but I didn’t.

Apparently, I don’t suck. I can run! I can really run!

My Mind Has Officially Imploded.

Martha Stewart and Ludacris.

Although, what “official” do you think stamps the approval on your mind-implosion certificate? Perhaps the Treasury Department! That could be one of their new duties, along with purchasing distressed MBSs! Dude, I would totally support that.